CONDOM(1)        EUNUCH Programmer's Manual           CONDOM(1)


NAME

    condom - Protection against viruses and prevention of child
             processes


SYNOPSIS

    condom [options] [processid]


DESCRIPTION

    condom  provides  protection  against  System  Transmitted
    Viruses (STVs) that may invade your system.  Although  the
    spread of such viruses across a network can only be abated
    by  aware  and  cautious  users, condom is the only highly
    effective means of  preventing  viruses from entering your
    system  (see  celibacy(1)).  Any data  passed to condom by
    the  protected process  will be  blocked,  as specified by
    the value of  the -s option (see OPTIONS below). condom is
    known to defend  against the  following viruses  and other
    malicious afflictions...

    o AIDS
    o Herpes Simplex (genital varieties)
    o Syphilis
    o Crabs
    o Genital warts
    o Gonhorrea
    o Chlamydia
    o Michelangelo
    o Jerusalem

    When used alone or in conjunction with pill(1), sponge(1),
    foam(1),  and /or  setiud(3),  condom  also  prevents  the
    conception  of a child process.  If invoked  from within a
    synchronous process, condom has, by default, an 80% chance
    of preventing the external processes from  becoming parent
    processes (see the -s option  below).  When other  process
    contraceptives  are used, the chance of preventing a child
    process  from  being  forked  becomes  much  greater.  See
    pill(1),  sponge(1),   foam(1),   and setiud(3)  for  more
    information. If no  options are  given, the current user's
    login  process (as determined  by the environment variable
    USER)  is protected  with a Trojan  rough-cut latex condom
    without a reservoir tip. The optional 'processid' argument
    is an integer specifying the process to protect.

    NOTE: condom may  only  be  used with a hard disk.  condom
    will terminate abnormally with exit code -1 if used with a
    floppy disk (see DIAGNOSTICS below).

OPTIONS

    The following options may be given to condom...

    -b BRAND        BRANDs are as follows...

                    trojan (default)
                    ramses
                    sheik
                    goldcoin
                    fourex

    -m MATERIAL     The valid MATERIALs are...

                    latex (default)
                    saranwrap
                    membrane - WARNING! The membrane option is
                    not  endorsed by the  System Administrator
                    General  as an  effective barrier  against
                    certain viruses.  It is supported only for
                    the sake of tradition.

    -f FLAVOR       The   following   FLAVORs  are   currently
                    supported...

                    plain (default)
                    apple
                    banana
                    cherry
                    cinnamon
                    licorice
                    orange
                    peppermint
                    raspberry
                    spearmint
                    strawberry

    -r              Toggle reservoir tip (default is no
                    reservoir tip)

    -s STRENGTH     STRENGTH is an integer  between 20 and 100
                    specifying   the   resilience   of  condom
                    against  data  passed  to  condom  by  the
                    protected process. Using a larger value of
                    STRENGTH  increases  condom's   protective
                    abilities,  but also  reduces interprocess
                    communication. A smaller value of STRENGTH
                    increases  interprocess communication, but
                    also   increases   the   likelihood  of  a
                    security  breach.   An extremely  vigorous
                    process or one passing an  enormous amount
                    of data to condom will increase the chance
                    of condom's failure.  The default STRENGTH
                    is 80%.

    -t TEXTURE      Valid TEXTUREs are...

                    rough (default)
                    ribbed
                    bumps
                    lubricated (provides smoother  interaction
                    between processes)

    WARNING: The use of  an external application  to condom in
    order to reduce friction between processes has been proven
    in benchmark tests to  decrease condom's  strength factor!
    If execution  speed is important to your  process, use the
    '-t lubricated' option.


DIAGNOSTICS

    condom terminates with one of the following exit codes...

    -1      An attempt was made to use condom on a floppy disk.

     0      condom exited successfully  (no data was passed to
            the synchronous process).

     1      condom  failed  and  data was allowed through. The
            danger  of  transmission of  an STV or the forking
            of a  child process is  inversely  proportional to
            the  number of other  protections employed  and is
            directly proportional to the ages of the processes
            involved.


BUGS

    condom is NOT 100% effective at preventing a child process
    from being  forked or at deterring the invasion of a virus
    (although the System Administrator General has deemed that
    condom  is the  most  effective  means  of  preventing the
    spread of system transmitted viruses). See celibacy(1) for
    information  on a 100%  effective  program  for preventing
    these problems.
    Remember... the  use of sex(6) and  other related routines
    should only occur between mature, consenting processes. If
    you must use sex(6), please  employ condom to protect your
    process  and  your  synchronous  process.  If  we  are all
    responsible, we can stop the spread of STVs.


AUTHORS and HISTORY

    The original version of condom was released in Roman times
    and  was only  marginally effective.  With  the  advent of
    modern  technology, condom now  supports many more options
    and is much more effective.
    The current release of condom was written by Ken Maupin at
    the University  of  Washington  (maupin@cs.washington.edu)
    and was last updated on 10/7/92.


SEE ALSO

    celibacy(1), sex(6), pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1),
    and setiud(3)