LUSER(8)                                              LUSER(8)


NAME

    luser  -  process to control the clueless induhviduals who
    (mis)use computer systems, peripheral devices  and  system
    administrators. Word play on "loser" and "user".


SYNOPSIS

    luser [-d] [-g] [-s] <lusername>


DESCRIPTION

       luser  is  the primary tool a system administrator uses to
       manage end-user requests. This powerful tool can  actually
       cause  the  specified user to perform actions as specified
       by the flags.

       With no flags, luser deletes every running  process  owned
       by the specified <lusername>.


OPTIONS

    -d     Disk reclamation mode. Remove all files in the home
           directory of <lusername>.

    -g<level>
           Grovel mode. Causes the specified luser to make  an
           act  of  contrition  to the sysadmin for past sins.
           The <level> indicates the severity of  the  contri-
           tion:

    LEVEL

    0      User  makes a sincere apology and promises to never
           do it again.

    1      User buys sysadmin a large quantity  of  sysadmin's
           favorite beverage.

    2      User  signs over ownership of his/her car to sysad-
           min.

    3      User resigns from the company after writing a  long
           letter of apology detailing his/her failings.

    4      User  commits  ritual suicide by sucking on a power
           strip and grounding himself to a conduit.


NOTES:

    Sysadmins are encouraged to use the -s option as a way  to
    smarten  up  the  world's  user base. Use the -g option at
    level 4 outside the confines of the machine room. The more
    lusers that witness the act, the better.


SEE ALSO

    sysadmin(1)